NSFW Boobie Birthday Cake

I made my brother a surprise birthday cake and gave it to him at one of his favorite monthly parties called Nasty Monday’s. It is this insanely fun weekly party in Barcelona and a monthly event in New York City at (le) Poisson Rouge.  The point of this cake was to embarrass him and I think he loved every minute of it. But I also loved every minute of making it.

I started off with the chocolate cake and found that it took a while to finish. I took it out to early and thought I ruined it, but I put it back in. I included a photo of the chocolate so you can see what the icing was hiding! Then my grandmother surprised me. Well, I just came out and said what I was making and her response, ‘Oh, how cute!’ She then went on to ask, ‘What are you using for nipples?’ 

I may need therapy but together we found some pastilles that were perfect. She watched me frost the cake and taught her about a crumb layer where I do one layer of frosting set it in the fridge and then the second layer of frosting was clean without crumbs. Needless to say, I make my grandmother proud.

The best part about this cake, is that people were shocked at how good it tastes!

Ingredients:

Cake

• 4 1/2 cups flour
• 3  cups sugar
• 1/2 cup cocoa
• 1  tablespoon baking soda
• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1  cupolive oil
• 3  tablespoons rice vinegar 
• 1 1/4  tablespoon vanilla
• 3  cups cold water

Frosting

• 16  ounces cream cheese
• 4  ounces butter
• 2  teaspoons vanilla
• 1 1/2-2  lbs powdered sugar
• 2  small pastilles
• yellow food coloring
• red food coloring
• green food coloring

Instructions

Prep Time:  30 mins

Total Time:. 1 1/4 hr

Cake:

1. 1. Sift first five ingredients into large bowl.
2. 2. Add next four ingredients and mix well.
3. 3. Fill two small stainless steel mixing bowls to a depth of about 2” with batter. No need to grease.
4. 4. Pour remainder of batter in a 9 x 13 pan.
5. 5. Bake the bowls for about 35 minutes and the 9 x 13 about 40 minutes - I made the boobs a little big and I found the cake really moist, so I’d definitely wait till a toothpick comes out completely clean.
   
6. 6. Cool cakes completely.

1. 1. Beat cream cheese well.
2. 2. Add butter and vanilla and beat till smooth.
3. 3.Add powdered sugar until you like the consistency and sweetness.
4. 4. Mix 8 drops of yellow food coloring, 7 drops of red and 2 drops of green.
5. 5. Add coloring mixture a few drops at a time until you get a good flesh color. I followed advice for Caucasian coloring.
   
6. 6. Invert the large layer onto a serving tray.
   
7. 7. Place the boobs appropriately and frost them.
8. 8. Save a few tablespoons of frosting and add additional food coloring mixture to it in order to get a good color for the nipples and areolas.
9. 9. Frost areolas, then coat the pastilles with frosting and make your nipples